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专栏作者:唐伟胜
新航道特约雅思学术顾问
广东外语外贸大学教授、博士
中国知名英语教育专家
《9分达人雅思写作真题还原及解析3》作者
购买链接见阅读原文
2019年10月10日
雅思大作文题目
如何解决青少年犯罪上升问题?
“The only way to solve the increasing crime rate of young offenders is to teach parents better parenting skills. Do you agree or disagree? ”
解析&审题
千呼万唤,犯罪类话题终于重出江湖!
犯罪类话题是雅思写作的常客,每年均出现3-4次,内容涉及犯罪的原因,惩罚方式及惩罚的效果,如何避免犯罪等,因这类话题很多学生平时思考得比较少,因此不可等闲视之。纵观近几年雅思写作,老雅将最常出现的犯罪类题材归纳为如下几类:
1. 青少年犯罪,包括:(1)青少年犯罪的原因及其解决办法;(2)青少年犯罪是否应该与成年人犯罪一样得到惩罚;(3)青少年犯罪后是否该收监,或者有其他的惩罚形式?
2. 一般犯罪的原因,包括:(1)人们犯罪的原因是什么?(2)犯罪是环境使然还是天性使然?
3. 一般犯罪的解决办法,包括:(1)犯罪能否避免?(2)避免犯罪,理想的办法是将犯人收监还是对人们实施教育?(3)是否应该控制电影和电视里的暴力镜头?
4. 其他,比如:出狱后的犯人能否成为教育青少年避免犯罪的典范?
本题涉及年轻人犯罪的解决办法。与一般题目不同的是,本题提出了一个解决办法,即“提高父母的教育技巧”,并提出这是解决年轻人犯罪的“较好办法”。
唐老师已经多次论述过,对这种“较好办法”或“理想办法”的题目,通常的思路是首先承认这种方法是有效的,然后提出还有其他(更好的)办法。就本题而言,我们可以先承认,提高父母教育孩子的技巧的确可以避免孩子犯罪,但这不是较好的办法,学校和政府也应该为减少孩子犯罪负责。
以下是唐老师撰写的高分范文。
老师笔记
01
One worrying trend globally is that the number of young offenders is on the rise. To combat this, many suggest that parents should be taught better parenting skills. While the improvement of parenting skills will certainly help bring down the crime rate of young law-breakers, it is not the only solution to the problem.
全球一个令人担忧的趋势是,年轻罪犯的人数正在增加。为了克服这个问题,许多人建议应该教会父母更好的孩子教育技巧。提高孩子教育技巧当然有助于降低青少年违法者的犯罪率,但这并不是这一问题的较好解决办法。
解析
(1) 本段开门见山给出背景(青少年犯罪在增加),并明确提出自己的观点(提高父母教育孩子的技巧有助于解决这个问题,但不是较好办法)。
(2) A worrying trend 一个令人担忧的趋势
(3) On the rise 在上升
(4) Combat 克服;战胜
(5) Bring down 降低
(6) Crime rate 犯罪率
02
We all know that parents are largely to blame for many crimes their children commit, which could have been prevented with better parenting skills. Many parents, for instance, do not know how to listen, so their children have nobody to turn to for help when they encounter problems in their life, thus making them easy targets of bad influences outside. Once their children do anything wrong, these parents will then resort to physical punishment rather than spending time talking to their children. The poor parenting skills, indeed, may leave children vulnerable to bad behaviour, which may eventuallylead to antisocial crimes.
我们都知道,父母在很大程度上要为他们的孩子犯下的许多罪行负责,如果有更好的孩子教育技巧,这些罪行本来可以预防的。例如,许多家长都不知道怎样倾听,因此,当他们的孩子在生活中遇到问题时,都没有人可以求助,因此很容易成为外界不良影响的目标。一旦他们的孩子做错了什么,这些父母就会诉诸于体罚,而不是花时间和孩子交谈。实际上,糟糕的孩子教育技巧可能会使孩子们容易受到不良行为的影响,而这可能会导致反社会的犯罪。
解析
(1) 本段讨论没有教育孩子的方法,孩子有可能走上犯罪道路。
(2) Somebody is to blame for... 某人应该为......负责(受到责备)
(3) Commit a crime 犯罪
(4) Resort to 使用;付诸
(5) Be vulnerable to... 容易受到......(影响或伤害)的
(6) Eventually 最终
(7) Anti-social 反社会
03
The improved parenting skills will certainly be helpful, but in order to control the tide of juvenile delinquency, we need to do more. In the first place, schools should shoulder their share of responsibility. Besidesimparting knowledge, schools ought to improve their students' ethical and legal awareness by showing them how to tell right from wrong. Many schools, for example, pay much attention to the artistic education of their students for the reason that art can help a child become a better person. What is more, the government should play an active role in educating the future generation. Onerecommendable policy the government has made recently is to ban the entry of young people under 15 to the bars and the Internet cafe. This policy makes it possible for children to spend more time with their parents and teachers, thus reducing the likelihood of their misconducts.
提高为人父母的技巧固然有帮助,但为了控制青少年犯罪的趋势,我们需要做更多的工作。首先,学校应该承担起自己的责任。除了传授知识外,学校还应向学生展示如何辨别是非,从而提高他们的道德和法律意识。例如,许多学校都非常重视对学生的艺术教育,因为艺术可以帮助孩子成为一个更好的人。更重要的是,政府应该在教育未来一代方面发挥积极作用。政府最近制定的一项政策值得推荐,即禁止15岁以下的年轻人进入酒吧和网吧。这项政策使孩子们有可能花更多的时间与父母和老师在一起,从而减少他们行为不端的可能性。
解析
(1) 本段讨论学校和政府在解决青少年犯罪方面可以做的事情(学校应该教孩子如何辨明是非,政府应该营造更好的社会氛围)。
(2) Juvenile delinquency 青少年犯罪
(3) Imparting knowledge 传授知识
(4) Ethical awareness 伦理意识
(5) Tell right from wrong 分辨是非
(6) For the reason that... 因为......
(7) Recommendable 值得推荐的
(8) Likelihood 可能性
(9) Misconduct 不端行为
04
In conclusion, to prevent young children from committing crimes, the parents, schools, and the government should join together and create a favorable environment for the growth of children.
总之,为了防止孩子犯罪,家长、学校和政府应该联合起来,为儿童的成长创造有利的环境。
解析
(1) 本段是结论段,再次明确自己的观点。
(2) A favourable environment 一个有利的环境
7分范文
One worrying trend globally is that the number of young offenders is on the rise. To combat this, many suggest that parents should be taught better parenting skills. While the improvement of parenting skills will certainly help bring down the crime rate of young law-breakers, it is not the only solution to the problem.
We all know that parents are largely to blame for many crimes their children commit, which could have been prevented with better parenting skills. Many parents, for instance, do not know how to listen, so their children have nobody to turn to for help when they encounter problems in their life, thus making them easy targets of bad influences outside. Once their children do anything wrong, these parents will then resort to physical punishment rather than spending time talking to their children. The poor parenting skills, indeed, may leave children vulnerable to bad behaviour, which may eventually lead to antisocial crimes.
The improved parenting skills will certainly be helpful, but in order to stem the tide of juvenile delinquency, we need to do more. In the first place, schools should shoulder their share of responsibility. Besides imparting knowledge, schools ought to improve their students’ ethical and legal awareness by showing them how to tell right from wrong. Many schools, for example, pay much attention to the artistic education of their students for the reason that art can help a child become a better person. What is more, the government should play an active role in educating the future generation. One recommendable policy the government has made recently is to ban the entry of young people under 15 to the bars and the Internet cafe. This policy makes it possible for children to spend more time with their parents and teachers, thus reducing the likelihood of their misconducts.
In conclusion, to prevent young children from committing crimes, parents, schools, and the government should join together and create a favorable environment for the growth of children.
(329 words)
建议背诵的句子
1. While the improvement of parenting skills will certainly help bring down the crime rate of young law-breakers, it is not the only solution to the problem.
提高孩子教育技巧当然有助于降低青少年违法者的犯罪率,但这并不是这一问题的较好解决办法。
2. We all know that parents are largely to blame for many crimes their children commit, which could have been prevented with better parenting skills.
我们都知道,父母在很大程度上要为他们的孩子犯下的许多罪行负责,如果有更好的孩子教育技巧,这些罪行本来可以预防的。
3. Many parents, for instance, do not know how to listen, so their children have nobody to turn to for help when they encounter problems in their life, thus making them easy targets of bad influences outside.
例如,许多家长都不知道怎样倾听,因此,当他们的孩子在生活中遇到问题时,都没有人可以求助,因此很容易成为外界不良影响的目标。
4. Besides imparting knowledge, schools ought to improve their students' ethical and legal awareness by showing them how to tell right from wrong.
除了传授知识外,学校还应向学生展示如何辨别是非,从而提高他们的道德和法律意识。
5. In conclusion, to prevent young children from committing crimes, the parents, schools, and the government should join together and create a favorable environment for the growth of children.
总之,为了防止孩子犯罪,家长、学校和政府应该联合起来,为儿童的成长创造有利的环境。
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